Quite frankly, in this economy, many people are staying in marriages that they otherwise would not due to the financial hardship that often results when a divorce case is pending. But, for those who decide to file for divorce, there are ways to try to keep the cost of a divorce down; in June there was an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal entitled "Keeping Finances Afloat During a Divorce."
The article starts out by pointing out that Jon & Kate's separation (yes, Jon and Kate Gosselin) is the "news of the moment." That was June, this is October. Now Jon & Kate are the always-in-your-face news of most moments, whether we really care or not. Most recently, what we are hearing in our gossip outlets (and yes, US Weekly) is that Jon took $200,000.00 out of an account, and Kate wants it back. Now, many of us do not have $200,000.00 sitting, liquid, in an account. And if you are one of those who does not, the article gives some tips. And, I will add some of my own.
The first tip, though it seems like a no-brainer to most, is to be an educated consumer. Do your homework. Get a referral from someone you know that has been through a divorce, or a friend who is an attorney, or check with your local or state bar association (Kane County Bar Association, McHenry County Bar Association or the Illinois State Bar Association). Schedule a consultation with the lawyer. Ask ALL of your questions, including those about costs and fees. Make sure if you hire that lawyer that you feel comfortable with him or her and that you feel you are on the same page regarding the direction you would like your case to head. But, also know that oftentimes divorce cases head in the opposite direction that you might have anticipated, so be prepared for that and have a gameplan.
Another option is mediation. In Kane County and McHenry County, the court will order mediation if custody is at issue (sole v. joint, residential custody, or parenting time). Mediation is not court-ordered for financial issues, but if the two spouses agree, a financial mediator may be quite helpful. Financial mediation is not the answer in all cases, but if both parties are well aware of the financial picture and are on a level playing field emotionally, it might be an option to consider. Also ask your attorney about mediation, and get the feel from him or her. Some attorneys are pro-mediation while some are more skeptical.
Another option is to avoid cashing out assets. Instead, divide assets in kind and wait for them to regain value before cashing in on their liquidity. Also make sure that the tax exemptions (for the children, if any) are taken by the parent who can best utilize the exemption. And if need be, place a clause in the Agreement for that to be revisited, should the need arise or circumstances change.
Try, and yes it will be difficult, to use your lawyer as your lawyer, and not as your therapist. Odds are your lawyer charges more than a therapist, and we don't have degrees in psychology (well, most of us don't...Mr. Schwarz is an exception)!
And above all, as the article says: be cooperative and be realistic. My advice? Understand, and talk to you lawyer, about what the law is; ask what you would likely get asset-wise and support-wise, under Illinois law. Know what you are asking for, and what it might cost to get that (for example, you might REALLY want that big-screen TV that cost $750…but do you want to spend $1500 to get it)? At the same time, you should not back down on certain issues just to save money on fees; if you are entitled to something under Illinois law, you should not be scared to ask for it.
