New Web Address

Our web address has changed to: http://www.foxvalleydivorce.com. The content remains the same you'll just find it in a new location. Our email addresses have also changed to the following:

• Julia A. Pucci: jpucci@foxvalleydivorce.com
• Benedict Schwarz, II: bschwarz@foxvalleydivorce.com
• Julie Pirtle: juliep@foxvalleydivorce.com
• Angela Matijevic: angelam@foxvalleydivorce.com
• Dawn Walavich: dawnw@foxvalleydivorce.com
• Stephanie Seyller Thompson: stephaniet@foxvalleydivorce.com

Facebook: Changing the Start, Middle, and Finish of Divorce

I don't have a Facebook page. Not a personal one, anyway. And I don't know why I'm often proud to share that fact with others. It doesn't make me a better person, but it does put me in the minority. My husband has a Facebook page, most of my friends have a Facebook pages, and we have a Facebook page for the office. I'm on Linked In…we have a blog…but for some reason, a stigma specifically surrounds Facebook, especially when it comes to personal relationships and interfering with personal relationships.

I don't think that Facebook causes break-ups, cheating, or ultimately divorce. But, it certainly may make it easier. Never before have we had a way to think about, then look up, then contact people we used to know so easily. I often find that I have a client who discusses finding out about an extramarital relationship via Facebook, by the posting of comments on a "wall" by others, or by pictures posted, or even by comments that Facebook friends make. I also find that I have friends, outside of work, who mention that their husband or significant other was contacted by someone he used to know, and perhaps someone he used to date; often, this person hasn't made contact in many, many years. If a marriage is already faltering, a "message" from a "friend" who hasn't been seen or heard from in years may pique one's interest: "I wonder what she's doing now…maybe it would be good to meet and catch up…I certainly need something to take my mind off of my current problems…" In my opinion, it's very rare that a third party is able to break up a happy marriage. But if the marriage or relationship isn't doing so well, then it's a different story. And Facebook may facilitate this.

And what if you are going through a divorce or breakup? Facebook often comes into play there, as well. I've had many clients who have told me that their divorce was amicable, and that the parting of ways was a mutual decision; thus, a true case of "irreconcilable differences." That is, until they checked their spouse's Facebook page or was told by a friend of something on their spouse's Facebook page involving a third party, whether it is a new paramour, or one that was involved during the marriage unbeknownst to my client. In situations like this, a more simple, straightforward divorce heads into the realm of major litigation. The length of the process is extended, and so is the cost, both emotionally and financially. Again, this wasn't a situation caused by Facebook: the involvement with the third party was there, but Facebook makes it much easier to discover. Even if my client knows about a current affair, Facebook can often change the rules of the pending divorce by showing that the other spouse is spending money (vacations, gifts, parties) on the relationship, thus driving financially-fueled litigation ("she can't afford to pay our mortgage but she can afford to take a trip to Hawaii with her boyfriend???"). And when a custody battle is pending, printed-out Facebook pages are often sliding across my desk, whether in my capacity as an attorney for one of the parents or in my capacity as a Guardian ad Litem (when I am appointed by the Court to advocate for the best interests of the children). Everything is relevant when custody comes into play, if it affects the children, and some parents make the mistake of a very transparent Facebook page. If older children are involved, they may also look at a parent's Facebook page, causing further, very complicated issues that might take therapy to resolve.

And what about the end of divorce? I recently was involved with a divorce of a younger couple, who had no children but were married for 10 years. The divorce didn't take too long, and though infidelity was involved, it wasn't overly combative. But at the end? The wife had a divorce party, complete with a cake topped with a bride chopping up a bloody groom. She even took a bouquet to the courthouse when the divorce was finalized, and took a picture of herself "tossing her bouquet" straight into the courthouse garbage can. All of her Facebook "friends" were able to see the pictures of her (in my opinion, tacky) divorce party…and her friends of course included her ex-husband and his family and friends. So this was a fairly amicable split, but because this spectacle was posted on Facebook for all "friends" to see, these two are at odds, and so are their family and friends who remained neutral and friendly throughout the process.

So what's my point? I hardly think after reading this that anyone will delete their Facebook page (why, after you've accumulated so many FRIENDS?). But be careful. You might trust your friends, but Facebook friends are a different breed, and your information, postings, and pictures will eventually get into the hands of someone who you'd rather not be privy to your personal information. Think about what you post before you post it, or it just may come back to haunt you.

Best Neighborhood in AMERICA!!!

Check out this article in today's Daily Herald! We are excited to announce that Good Morning America has chosen the our neighborhood (of our main office in West Dundee) as the BEST NEIGHBORHOOD IN AMERICA! And, GMA will be broadcasting LIVE from our neighborhood on July 1, 2010. So many of our clients come from our neighborhood, and I cannot say enough about how awesome the residents are. When I leave work, there is rarely a day that I don't wave to someone I know walking, biking, or rollerblading down the street with their children. It truly is a great family neighborhood and we are proud to be a part of that!

Updated Bios and Addition of Staff to Website!

Check out our updated TEAM pictures and bios on http://www.dundeelaw.com/!

Benedict Schwarz, II

Julia A. Pucci

Dawn Walavich, Paralegal

Angela Matijevic, Client Accounts Manager

Julie Pirtle, Paralegal

Stephanie Seyller Thompson, Paralegal

Tax Exemptions for Non-Custodial Parent?

As you may know, which parent gets the dependency exemptions for the child or children is an issue that is often raised in a divorce or parenting agreement. Generally, the Judgment for Dissolution of Marriage or Parenting Agreement will specify which parent gets to take the exemption for each child; there are instances where the non-custodial parent will be awarded the exemption, either every year or in alternating years. In June of 2009, the IRS released a memo clarifying the rules regarding a non-custodial parent's right to claim a dependency exemption for a child. In short, this memo said clearly: if a non-custodial parent will be taking the exemption for a child, the custodial parent must fill out IRS form 8332 (before, there was ambiguity in the Code as it stated form 8332 must be filled out, or another form conforming to the substance of form 8332).

Thus, if your case is pending, it might be wise to include language that Form 8332 be completed on a yearly basis in order to avoid conflict if a non-custodial parent will be taking an exemption for a child.

YouTube - Johnny Knoxville, Eddie Barbanell and the R-word

This has absolutely nothing to do with divorce or family law. It's just a good video.

YouTube - Johnny Knoxville, Eddie Barbanell and the R-word

Relgion, Divorce...and Jail Time?

It's commonplace to hear of a parent being held in contempt of court and being sentenced to a period of jail time for failing to pay child support or other financial obligations. And once in a while I've seen a Judge send a parent to jail for other violations of court Orders (failing to obtain insurance, visitation abuse, etc). But sending a parent to jail for taking a child to church? This was a new one for me, but apparently Cook County Judge Ed Jordan will be faced with this very decision on March 3rd. The case is that of Joseph Reyes, who is currently embroiled in divorce proceedings in Cook County. He and his wife have a daughter, and religion has become a topic in their bitter custody battle; Judge Jordan entered an order restraining Mr. Reyes from "exposing his daughter to any other religion than the Jewish religion..." Mr. Reyes was Catholic before marriage, but converted to Judaism for his wife. The restraining Order was the result of Mr. Reyes' decision to baptize his daughter in the Catholic Church -- an event he documented and sent pictures of to his wife. After the Order was entered, Mr. Reyes decided to take his daughter to Catholic Church, after, of course, calling a local news station to memorialize the occasion. As with many issues in family law cases, it's difficult to tell if the issue of religion is truly important to Mr. Reyes, or whether he is simply looking for media attention and/or to anger his wife.

Because Mr. Reyes would be unable to undo his actions, and thus "purge" himself of civil contempt, the issue is criminal contempt. The Judge could (but it is very unlikely) sentence him to up to six months in jail. Judge Jordan's courtroom, as usual, will be very interesting when this case is heard.

Divorce Communication Website: All About the Children

Even if you haven't been through a divorce, you know someone who has. Or you know someone who has a child with someone that they are separated from or have never been married to. Thus, odds are you know just how difficult joint parenting can be. Not only do you have to communicate with someone who you have chosen to no longer live with...you have to do it effectively so as to best benefit your children. Your relationship as parents is ongoing...and until your children are all emancipated, you will have to deal with issues such as visitation, altering visitation, school schedules, extracurricular activity schedules, holidays, not to mention everyone's favorite: money issues.

All About the Children is a new tool that can help parents....well, co-parent. If both parents sign up and have accounts, both parents can then view their child's schedule via the calendar, communicate with the other parent about other issues such as visitation via the mail room, and even manage finances via money matters. Money matters will even handle direct deposits from one parent's account into the other parent's account for miscellaneous expenses and even child support. Parents are emailed each time something happens on his or her account. All transactions are date-stamped when they are sent and when they are received and cannot be altered.

As an attorney dealing with parents attempting to find the best way to work together, or any way to work together after their relationship has ended, this website seems like an invaluable tool. And as a Guardian ad Litem, I have been appointed by the Court to investigate what I believe to be in the best interests of a child or children...and oftentimes have been faced with parents who argue that they cannot contact the other parent because his or her voicemail box is full...or they do not return voicemails...or that they refuse to communicate via any method other than text...or that they send constant emails expecting an immediate response...the list goes on. This website attempts to address those communication issues and presents a central hub where parents can go to address the many issues involving their children's lives.

Check it out -- and let us know what you think: http://www.allaboutthechildren.us/.

Grandparents: How to Help in Divorce

Grandparents, whether directly or indirectly, are often involved in divorce cases and other custody disputes. Their child and grandchildren may come to live with them during or after a divorce for a period of time, or they may become a bigger part of their grandchildren's child care due to decreased finances. Even if the involvement is the same as before the divorce came about, grandparents are still impacted by the new situation. One piece of advice? Don't take sides! Grandparents will naturally "side" with their child if a divorce becomes antagonistic. But this can be detrimental to the children; a child loves both of his or her parents, and will be taken aback if they hear their grandparent say something derogatory about either parent. It's hard for a child to trust someone who says terrible things about a parent. Children are smart and observant, and do not easily forget what they hear. A grandparent should learn to bite his or her tongue and hold back any vilifying comments, even if there is a good reason to be angry, no matter how difficult it may be.


If a grandparent does talk negatively about the other parent, before, during or after a divorce, time with their grandchildren may be dimished as a result. If you are a mother, and you know your mother-in law (or former mother-in-law) constantly talks trash about you, would you want your children spending time with her? Probably not. What about the annual week-long trip to the beach that your mother-in-law took your children on? Not gonna happen this year -- a week of listening to how horrible of a parent I am? I don't think so! Keeping quiet keeps your grandchildren close. And if a child asks or wants to talk about the divorce or dispute, or if a grandparent feels the need to say something about the situation, simply saying that the divorce is no one's fault, including the child's for example, might help.

Grandparents are in a unique situation during divorce. Both their granchildren and their children will lean on them during the process and grandparents have the ability to diminish the trauma, or contribute. Our firm has dealt with enough cases involving grandparents, divorce and visitation and I can tell you that if the grandparents put aside their feelings about the other parent and instead focus on the thing everyone has in common: love for the children, all parties will benefit.

Think Before Hitting Send:Text Messages Can Be Dangerous in Divorce!

Let's be honest. We've all read the US Weekly that details Tiger's racy texts to members of the opposite sex that just happened to not be his wife. Do you think that the second Tiger tapped out those messages on his PDA he thought they would be emblazoned in the pages of every gossip magazine for weeks? Not hardly. I doubt that Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons thought too hard, either, before sending the -- alleged -- 860 text messages to paramours on a state cell phone, either. I doubt many people think too hard before sending a text. Unfortunately, this lack of thought is coming back to bite many litigants in divorces.

The February issue of the Matrimonial Strategist discusses the issue of text messages ("Text Messages Providing TMI for Divorce Lawyers") and interviews one New York attorney who recalled the past, when he would hire private investigators to "burst into hotel rooms to catch cheating spouses." Now? Simply pick up your spouse's cell phone or PDA. If it's there, you'll find what you're looking for. And even if you can't find it, your attorney can send a subpoena to your spouse's cell provider and the text messages from the requested time period will be produced. And it works both ways.

The bottom line? Think before you type. Think before you text. Maybe even think before you speak. If it can happen to Tiger, it can happen to anyone.